New Chapter, Same Me (But Better)

It didn’t click for me when I was 19 that it would be my last time being that age, like I was just floating around, not thinking too hard about getting older. When February came around, I was officially 20 and entered adulthood. I remember feeling a wave of dread wash over me when I really processed what was to come. 

Realizing things are changing, or have already changed, can be daunting, to say the least. You begin to question if this is the time when you’re supposed to know exactly what you want to do or become. You see people around your age figuring things out, looking like they have everything together, while you feel way behind and nowhere near ready to be an adult. (The idea of being super late in planning and having everything set out for myself is tiresome😭!) But mind you, these are the years to figure things out and find yourself, so there’s no point in comparing yourself to others.

Honestly, so far being 20 has felt like having a new storyline every single month. There are emotional highs and lows, and moments where things become unpredictable, but I’ve learned to make it through. It can be weird, confusing, and daunting, but it’s also unforgettable, memorable, and insanely fun. I'm just learning to go with the flow, not rush, and embrace whatever life throws my way.

University life can definitely feel overwhelming at times, especially when you start overthinking and worrying that you won’t have any time left to go out or hang with friends. But I’ve learned that it's totally possible to make time for an adventure. You just need a flexible schedule, good planning, and less procrastination! Our social life shouldn't have to die just because we have schoolwork. Seriously, it's important to maintain a healthy balance between keeping your grades up and actually enjoying life outside of school.

At the beginning of January, I made a vision board and broke a plate labeled with the habits and energy I didn’t want to bring into the new year. When I tell you I was surprised by how much came out of it, maintaining, exploring, rebranding, and rediscovering myself wasn’t originally my plan, buuuuuut it happened! And I'm so happy it did. 

This year has also been all about stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things. I’ve become so much more open to trying new foods and visiting places I’ve never been to before, especially when taking myself on solo dates. Trying the whole solo date isn’t bad, at first it felt weird, but after doing it a few times I started to enjoy it. Plus, planning outfits makes it exciting! I would make the outfits and turn them into stickers, and add them to a Google Doc or Notes app to plan what to wear. To match with the whole rebrand, I started incorporating brighter colors into my clothing and finally styled pieces I used to avoid. 

Other than fashion, I’ve been focusing on bringing back old hobbies that brought me joy, like getting back into experimental makeup with Pinterest-inspired designs and bold eyeshadow. (To this day I regret throwing away this eyeshadow palette I got at Ross, it was the best palette😞). At the same time, I've made space for new hobbies. I’ve been getting back into physical movement by trying Pilates for the first time and picking yoga back up, which was so needed. 

I still want to try colored mascara and eyeliner designs I saw on Pinterest.

Another unexpected surprise is starting this blog. At first, it was just supposed to be a private digital journal to write down whatever came to mind or how I was feeling. But as I kept customizing and designing how I envisioned the layout, it evolved into something so exciting than a simple diary. This blog became my own little space to step away from social media and just create.