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| ★★★★ |
There's a stereotype that paints feminists in a generalized, aggressive, backward beliefs and questionable appearances. What I remember is that often feminism looked like it only pandered to one community of women. I never heard many stories of women of color and their own experience being a woman in this patriarchy world. One thing I've noticed, people assume being a feminist is hating men and going against patriarchal norms (which I believe we should stop having a patriarchal mindset). When taught these beliefs we begin to see it as a normal thing and fall in line with that belief.
When I read this book after finishing Tar Baby by Toni Morison (not sure if I'll do a review), it made me think about my own personal experience and how other women experience inequality within social, career, and societal status. The author brought up how women cannot express or behave any way similar to the other gender unless they want to be seen as "aggressive," when they’re only being themselves or mirroring the same as their counterparts. This reminded me of Bell Hooks' book, All About Love: New Visions (I definitely need a copy to have in my bookshelf). In a section talking about how women are depicted to be viewed in a patriarchal society. It kind of made me remember the essay I had written in my first year of college for my accelerated English class, it was titled “Patriarchy is in Everyone,” I had written this essay in response to expectations for girls' vs boys and how it affected both genders at a young age.
Some examples:
- Dating, don’t want girls to date but expect them to have a husband already
- Taboo topics like virginity, sex, and in general sexuality are deemed inappropriate for a lady but quick to praise men on those same topics.
- Respect, women aren’t getting the respect or acknowledgement as their other peers do and when we try, we are seen very hard to work with.
- Intimidated, often enough men feel intimidated by a woman if she has a better career, can afford things with no help or asking, is very independent and comfortable with how they look because they aren’t doing it for others but for themselves.
After finishing the book, I did a little reflection or self-thinking. I personally see myself as a feminist who wants equal rights for both genders, and I always loved to challenge our patriarchal system. However, it had me also questioning if I knew exactly what it means to be a feminist? Or what is feminism? In the end I do know, and I also know that it's important to hear the stories of women and specifically WOC who aren’t fortunate to express, to be treated fairly, and to be respected in our society.
