AM I A LOST CAUSE?

 

I never really thought too much into dating or being in a relationship until this year it seems. I've never been in a relationship, only talking is the closest I could get. I don't know if it’s because I have a high standard (which half is a bare minimum I believe every man should have) or I'm just not the type to allow anything to pass me. But it seems the idea of being in a relationship has plagued my mind heavily once I entered my 20s. Idk i always say I'm open to try but immediately after prayers and getting to hear the guy i lose (most likely discernment), interest. And then there's another thought of actual intimacy. Im not talking holding hands and such but to do the sexual deeds itself. Now for years even little me always said to be abstinent (and would stay like that as long as i wanted!!) bc i was never comfortable to just give to any guy and the thought to about soul ties but also other things that come with doing the act. I hate that im allowing what others i see a lot on Tiktok comments make me sometimes feel like i may just become a Nun of some sort. Especially if the only thing I can be in a relationship with is if I take part but honestly I don't see or feel comfy yet to let any guy for that matter. 

NOTE: im never going to change myself just cuz others are all doing, i rather for years or however long God has it planned for me to be in a relationship and finding the right guy. (this sounds sooo eugh but thats just how i feel so far)